Infinitely Losing My Edge

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Yeah, I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge.
The kids are coming up from behind.
I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge to the kids from Haiti and from Spokane.
But I was there.

I was there in 1976.
I was there at the first Buzzcocks show in Bolton.
I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge to the kids whose footsteps I hear when they get on the decks.
I'm losing my edge to the internet seekers who can tell me every member of every good group from 1962 to 1977.
I'm losing my edge.

To all the kids in Portland and Lille.
I'm losing my edge to the art-school Halifax kids in little jackets and borrowed nostalgia for the unremembered nineties.

I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge.
I can hear the footsteps every night on the decks.
But I was there.

I was there in 1976 at the first Buzzcocks practice in a loft in Bolton.
I was working on the snare sounds with much patience.
I was there when Lou Reed started up his first band.
I told him, "Don't do it that way. You'll never make a dime."
I was there.
I was the first guy playing Jandek to the rap kids.
I played it at the Hacienda.
Everybody thought I was crazy.
We all know.
I was there.
I was there.
I've never been wrong.

But I'm losing my edge to better-looking people with better ideas and more talent.
And they're actually really, really nice.

I'm losing my edge.

I heard you have a compilation of every good song ever done by anybody.
Every great song by Laurel Aitken. All the underground hits.

All Anthony Braxton tracks. I heard you have a vinyl of every Joe Smooth record on German import.

I heard that you have a white label of every seminal funk hit - 1985, '86, '87.
I heard that you have a CD compilation of every good '50s cut and another box set from the '70s.

I hear you're buying a marimba and a güiro and are throwing your macbook out the window because you want to make something real. You want to make a The Five Americans record.

I hear that you and your band have sold your snare and bought a güiro.
I hear that you and your band have sold your güiro and bought a snare.

I hear everybody that you know is more relevant than everybody that I know.

But have you seen my records?

KRS-One, Bob Dylan, The Jesus and Mary Chain, Strawberry Alarm Clock, Ralphi Rosario, Aural Exciters, Con Funk Shun, Spandau Ballet, Larry & the Blue Notes, Maurizio, Marmalade, Buzzcocks, Gichy Dan, Dorothy Ashby, Matthew Halsall, Connie Case, Goldenarms, Cameo, the Soft Cell, Crash Course in Science, H. Thieme, Infiniti, Nick Fraelich, Flash Fearless, Darondo, Massinfluence, Arab on Radar, The Barracudas, The Shadows of Knight, Severed Heads, 8 Eyed Spy, Maleditus Sound, Liaisons Dangereuses, Depeche Mode, Japan, The Smiths, These Immortal Souls, Dave Gahan, Deakin, Minutemen, Blancmange, DJ Sneak, Symarip, Sun Ra Arkestra, Gil Scott-Heron & Brian Jackson, Curtis Mayfield, Harry Pussy, Radiopuhelimet, Bill Wells, The Royal Family And The Poor, The Seeds, Frankie Knuckles, Morten Harket, Rakim, Stetsasonic, Dennis Brown, New Age Steppers, Sonic Youth, The Gladiators, The Blues Magoos, Tubeway Army, The American Breed, A Certain Ratio, A Certain Ratio, A Certain Ratio, A Certain Ratio.

You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.
You don't know what you really want.

A hack by Matthew Ogle who is very sorry to James Murphy and basically everyone (cheers to Darius and this for the late-night inspiration)